Contrasts
2002-10-14 @ 6:28 p.m.
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This weekend a co-worker and friend of mine cut her wrists badly enough to get her admitted to one of the local psych. hospitals. She has been having a tough time emotionally for several months. The biggest problem she�s been talking to me about has been a guy she�s been dating who treats her like shit. But she can�t seem to stop seeing him, and she can�t convince herself that it�s not her fault he treats her that way. She�s been seeing a psychiatrist off and on. She on anti-depressants, and her other friends and I have done what we could for her. But there�s only so much you can do. I�ve been there. I remember how difficult it can be to convince yourself that you not only deserve better, but you are actually capable of getting better treatment, of finding a better guy (or girl).
As I described the situation to Badsnake yesterday afternoon, I was amazed and grateful once again that I have never done time, myself, in a psych. hospital. When I look at my friends and acquaintances (and even the kids I counseled when I worked in psych. hospitals many years ago) I wonder at the similarities in our backgrounds. How did I escape the kind of consequences others have had? Nine years of sexual abuse by my father and the depth of emotional dependence he created in me in order to be able to get away with it could have been much more devastating. I�ve known people with less traumatic histories who�ve suffered much more. Bad says it�s my strength. She tells me I am one of the strongest people she knows (emotionally). Maybe she�s right. Something has certainly kept me alive and healthy all these years. I wish I could share some of that with my friend right now. But I know she has to find it within herself for it to do her any good. As soon as I can I will visit her and take her pretty trinkets and help her remember that life will be normal again.
On a brighter note, I had a great time yesterday. (Life does go on, after all.) Jake and I went shopping. I�m talking marathon shopping, at least for us. And I got a great sexy outfit at Lane Bryant. Who knew the fat lady store could be so sexy?! One thing I like about Lane Bryant - I wear the smallest size they sell. But in other stores they seem to assume that if you�re not a size 8, you�re not interested in being sexy. Stores like Lane Bryant know that those of us with a little more flesh on our bones can also be hot to trot and fun to look at.
After family dinner, Jake and I met Anat at My Sister�s Room for the hottest Drag King show I�ve ever seen (I got to wear the afore-mentioned sexy outfit, and Jake was definitely a hottie in new, snug black Levis). Okay, I�ve only been to a few Drag King shows, but these guys were great (Darla and the Rascals). We left the bar around 1 a.m. - unusually late for me to be out. I feel for Jake and Anat. They both had to get up early this morning, and I got to sleep in. But then I have to work until 10 p.m. It could be a long night. It was worth it. I had a fabulous time, dancing and flirting and looking at all the handsome girls. And I must add that it was really quite a turn-on (not entirely unexpected) to bookend Jake with Anat. Jake was wonderfully attentive to both of us, and to be standing wrapped in her one arm while her other hand caressed Anat's luscious thigh was quite invigorating. Is Jake studdly, or what?
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P.S. I've lost my images temporarily, but we're working on putting them back.
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