Seeking a chocolate-covered adrenaline rush
2002-08-19 @ 3:10 p.m.
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I've been going on the assumption that the depression I've been feeling for the past few weeks has been peri-menopausal and hormonal. My mantra for the last week or so has been "more estrogen." Today my doctor said she didn't think more estrogen would do it - but we could try that if I wanted to. (I like this new attitude of doctors that respects the client's information and opinions, but sometimes I worry that we've intimidated them to the point that they aren't willing to give true recommendations.)
She recommended an anti-depressant. I am desparate. I want to try whatever she thinks is most likely to help. I did, however, request that we start with the one that doesn't have a detrimental effect on my sex life. I might have gone for it if it were just a matter of reduced sex drive, but she said it could have an effect on my orgasms. I just can't imagine trying to have sex and not being able to have an orgasm. I know that happens to people all the time, even people I love. But I'm used to just getting warmed up after two or three. (I'm not bragging, just putting it into perspective!)
So now I'm taking an anti-depressant, and I will be lighting candles to the Goddess in the hopes that I will be a happy girl again in time for my vacation.
On the up side, I've lost ten pounds. I suggested to Badsnake that we could hold off on the anti-depressants for another ten, but she didn't like that idea. I don't blame her. I didn't either, really. I was kidding. I wasn't intending to try to lose weight. I'm happy with my plush curves for now.
In the process of asking me questions to try to evaluate my situation, the doctor asked me if I had any dietary changes, any changes in my eating habits. "Chocolate," I replied enthusiastically. For the last few years I have not been a huge chocolate fan the way some women are. I like it, but I don't need it. But chocolate really helps! My doctor smiled knowingly.
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