Silver Linings
2002-06-03 @ 11:38 a.m.
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Badsnake and I had a disagreement last night. Maybe I should call it a fight - right in the middle of a family discussion. The girlfriends were very supportive, but it was clear that whatever was going on was between me and Bad. We finally shut it down and went home to bed. Well, Bad went to bed. We talked a little more. Then I stayed up trying to figure out why I was still angry. Our disagreement seemed to be resolved as much as it was going to get, but I couldn't bring myself to feel finished with it.
This morning after Bad left for work, Jake came over to see if we had worked things out. She and Sara had been concerned but knew that they couldn't fix things for us. Jake listened to me talk for a while. She's a very good listener. She asked questions and let me think about things further. She helped me put everything into perspective. Mainly she helped me get from angry to something much more conducive to communication.
When I was in therapy I told my therapist about my family, about all of it, the polyamory and the kink. My therapist told me that she thought I was lucky to be surrounded by such a loving group of mature individuals who did such a good job of working through things. She was absolutely right.
Bad and I have more talking to do, but not in anger. I should say, however, that the fact of the fight last night was actually progress for the two of us. We are both people who prefer to avoid conflict or confrontation at all cost. We have only recently begun to learn how to discuss our disagreements and even that a little fight from time to time won't tear us apart. We learned a lot of that from Jake and Sara.
Ethical Slut quote: "Thinking about how intimacy and bonding is cemented by sharing vulnerable feelings brings us to perhaps the ultimate act of intimacy: fighting."
Another unrelated, but fabulous Ethical Slut quote: "Some of our best friends are people we met because someone we were fucking was fucking them too."
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